Each year October 11 is recognized as National Coming Out Day. According to the Human Rights Campaign, we first observed National Coming Out Day 33 years ago on the anniversary of the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights as a reminder that one of our most basic tools is the power of coming out. Even today, coming out still matters, because when people know someone who is LGBTQ+ they are more likely to support equality under the law.
I came out as gay in August 2019 at the age of 33. At that time, I had been married to a woman for almost ten years and had three children. Saying the words, “I’m gay,” to the woman I married was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It led to heartbreak and pain, and I ended up severely depressed and suicidal. But I don’t regret my decision because I have learned and grown a lot from the experience.
Today, my ex-wife and I are both in terrific relationships. We remain friends. Our kids are happy, and they can finally see their parents truly happy too. Two of my kids even recently told my boyfriend, “Daddy seems much happier with you.” (That makes my heart melt.)
I still struggle with my mental health, including anxiety and depression, but it is now better managed with the help of a therapist and psychiatrist (the latter I only have because I was referred by a mental health facility). I have been diagnosed as a person with bipolar disorder, type 2, but with medication and therapy I finally have more good days than bad.
Through all this, I have learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. I will keep going and living life the best I can.