3 years ago today I made a plan to die and wrote a note to my family to say goodbye. I was depressed and feeling hopeless. I couldn’t see any reason to keep living. That feeling scared me into sharing my feelings with others and seeking help. I found help in an outpatient program at a psychiatric hospital where I saw a psychiatrist for the first time, developed a safety plan, and learned skills to cope with stress and depression. Since then I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar bipolar disorder (type 2) and social anxiety. I take my medication and see a psychiatrist and therapist regularly, but the nature of my diagnosis means that I still have occasional episodes of depression. The depression often comes with suicidal ideation. I rely on my husband, medical team, support groups, and other sources of support to keep me grounded and healthy.
I also support the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) which provides suicide awareness and prevention education and resources. You can support AFSP by joining an Out of the Darkness Walk at https://afsp.org or donate to the St. Louis Walk at https://supporting.afsp.org/participant/2616567.
If you or someone you know are in crisis or considering suicide, please call or text 988.